Hi friend,

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and I want you to hear this first: You are not failing.

Parenting a child with ADHD asks more of you: more patience, more creativity, more repair. And the fact that you're here, reading this, says so much about the parent you are.

If I could give you one anchor this month, it would be connection.

Before strategies, before systems, connection.

Our kids are wired to respond to felt safety. When they feel connected to us, their nervous systems settle, and everything else gets a little easier: mornings, homework, big feelings.

A few small ways to build connection:

• Get on their level, literally. For younger kids, ten minutes of child-led play, with no teaching or correcting, tells them, “You delight me.” For older kids and teens, take an interest in what interests them. Ask about the game they’re playing, the music they’re listening to, or whatever excites them, even if it isn’t your thing.
• Name what you see. “You seem frustrated” lands better than “Calm down” every single time.
• Repair quickly. A sincere “I got loud. I’m sorry” teaches more than a perfect day ever could.

And here’s the quiet superpower: your calm is contagious.

When you slow your voice, soften your shoulders, and pause before reacting, you’re lending your child your nervous system until theirs learns the way.

I think of one mom I worked with. I’ll call her Alice. Homework had become a regular source of conflict in their home, often ending with both her and her son yelling and frustrated.

One evening, she felt that familiar heat rising in her chest, the sharp words already forming. Instead, she put her hand on her chest and breathed. Out loud. Slowly.

“I’m feeling frustrated,” she told him, “so I’m going to breathe for a minute.”

For a while, her son just stared. But she kept doing it.

Then one night, when he felt a meltdown coming over last-minute homework, he stopped and took some deep breaths right in front of her.

Months later, their house sounded different. Big feelings had words: “I need a minute.” Less yelling. Less screaming.

“It didn’t just change my son,” Alice told me. “It changed the whole temperature of our home.”

You won’t get it right every time. None of us do. But every calm moment is a model they’re absorbing.

You’re doing important, difficult, beautiful work. 💛

And sometimes, having someone to talk to along the way can help lighten the load.

That’s why we’d love for you to join us this Friday, October 9th, for our Q&A on Zoom. Bring your ADHD parenting questions. Nothing is off limits.

Click the join to join us tomorrow at 11am Pacific Time:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/cqbl_SFpTA6X5fDF9UZdyQ

Warmly,

Vicky & Coco